What difference does it make?
by ViciousRunaway
Summary: Emily is a struggling musician living in her shitty apartment and living recklessly she has no reason to make an effort in her life. This is where our favourite blonde steps in. Naomily. Inspired by The Smiths.
1. Chapter 1

**I know I have another story here that is unfinished but I really don't know how much longer it will continue, if at all. So I have had a number of ideas, and I think I'm going to start on this one. Another Idea I had was a crossover with our favourite red head and Mallory from the film 'Welcome to the Riley's.' If anyone has seen that film let me know your opinions for the crossover. Anyway, here is the prologue kinda, I will return to this point further on in the story. I hope this works. **

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><p>"It's happening again, everyone is leaving, everyone always leaves"<p>

"You feel alone?" I nodded responding to the cutting question.

"I keep telling myself to suck it up, that bad shit happens you just have to get on with it but I can't"

"It's hard to let go of things that mean a lot to you" There was a long silence fill the room, the only sound being my sniffles and stifled cries.

"I'm scared" I finally said.

"Scared of what?" Helen asked sympathetically.

"Of myself" The words came out quiet and strained.

"Are you indicating that you're suicidal?"

"There's nothing more terrifying when you realize you aren't afraid to die anymore" I said avoiding the question. Helen looked at me notably worried but didn't say anything; I took it as an indication to carry on.  
>"I don't even look when I cross the road anymore; I don't count the number of pills that come out the bottle I just take them, I was walking in the park the other day at like, 3 am, and there was this rustling in the bushes and I prayed that there was someone there, I prayed for it to be the thing to take me." I paused for a moment, wiping the tears from my face, I kept my eyes on my feet to frightened to look up and see Helens expression.<br>"I've stopped caring about myself, absolutely and entirely, and that's scary"

"Emily, if you're hurting yourself you know that I have to report it"

"I'm not" I shook my head, "I'm not"

"Do you want to hurt yourself?"

I shook my head, "I just want it all to stop."


	2. 2 First Impressions

**_Okay sorry it took so long and sorry it isn't longer. I am really busy at the moment but I am trying my best. Not much happening in this chapter, the next chapter will have more Naomily for you! _**

Naomi.

The flight over was long and tiring, and being sat next to a man who wanted nothing than to talk and make conversation with you the whole flight over didn't really help. The need to sleep was overwhelming, I felt my eyes drag shut, begging to be enclosed in darkness. My feet were heavy, legs tired and cramped from being still for so long. The last thing I wanted to do now was to wait around looking for my friend Freddie to pick me up.  
>I stayed near the terminal, not wanting to stray too far and miss him. I eventually caught sight of him and he ran over, a smile plastered on his face. He picked me up in his long arms and squeezed them around my body; he pressed his lips into my hair and put me down. Standing back taking a long look at me.<p>

"Haven't changed a bit" he smiled.

"Same goes to you" I replied looking him up and down, taking in every inch of his form. "I missed you so much" I smiled finding myself in his arms again.

"Missed you too"

The car ride back wasn't silent once, we talked and shared memories of our days together at college, he caught me up on his life and I told him mine. It wasn't hard to find things to talk about; it was as if no time had passed at all. We had kept in touch over the years, over the phone and e-mail but it wasn't hard to fall back to usual habits.

"So tell me about the current fella then" he asked.

"Um well" I hesitated, "We just broke up"

"Really?" He sounded genuinely surprised. "I thought this one was a real keeper"

"Yeah me too"

"So what happened?" he asked sympathetically.

"I caught him cheating on me"

"That bastard" Freddie said making me laugh, "Fucking small cocked little twat" I laughed even more, "He didn't deserve you Naoms"

"Well I'm here now so fuck him"

"Yeah fuck him" he agreed.

We made it back to his flat and he showed me to my room, I didn't bother to unpack I just flopped on the bed and let myself sleep, Freddie informed me we had plans tonight so I couldn't sleep to long, but I still managed to squeeze a few hours in there.

Freddie drove us to his friend's house; on the way over he warned me about the guy and told me not to take anything he says seriously. After the few stories he had told and what I had heard of him over the phone the past few years I was sort of scared of the guy, but Freddie told me he was harmless and that he was sure I'd love him.

Emily

I lay breathless on my bed untangling myself from the body that lay panting with me. I wasted no time removing myself from the warm body heated sheets and picking up my clothes from the floor beginning to dress.

"Where are you going?" the bare beauty asked sounding disappointed and confused.

"I have plans" I answered casually picking up her shirt and passing it to her.

"Fine" she angrily stood and began to get dressed.

"Look" I desperately searched my fogged memory looking for a name, "Emma" I said unconfident, she didn't argue so I carried on.  
>"Emma, I had a really good time today but I don't want anything to come of this." The girl looked hurt, "I'm busy tonight but I'll call you some other time and we can get together" I had no real intention of calling the poor girl.<p>

"Okay" She nodded with a slight smile.

"Great" I opened the bedroom door and walked her out of the apartment.

I leant back against the closed door and let out a sigh of relief; I opened my closed eyes and noticed another six staring back at me. Cook, Freddie and some random blonde I had never seen before.

"Hey Fred" I said walking into the main living room and taking a seat on the arm rest next to him.

"Looks like you've been working early today" Freddie winked nodding towards the bedroom door. "When'd you meet her then?" he laughed.

"This morning when she went out to get us coffee" Cook interjected.

"Nice"

I threw a cushion across the room at Cook; it hit him directly in the face stopping his throaty laugh. Freddie handed me a cigarette.

"Oh shit yeah, Em this is Naomi" Freddie said lighting the end of the cigarette hanging out my mouth. I nodded over to her taking in her beauty. "She's coming with us to watch you play tonight." He added.

"Oh you're the band" Naomi spoke.

"Part of it yeah" I said with a smirk.

"That's awesome, so what do you play?"

"Guitar"

"Emilio's the singer too" Cook interrupted.

"Wow" Naomi smiled.

"What times the show?" Freddie asked checking his watch.

"Starts at eight" I answered keeping my eyes on Naomi who was playing with the hem of her short skirt.

"Don't you think you should get a move on then, I mean as much as we like seeing you in your underwear I don't think a whole crowd will" Freddie winked. It was then I realised I was only wearing my underwear and a tank top, great first impressions there Emily.

_**Oh and by the way let me know any good songs you want to be played by Emily s band, songs that relate to Naomily. I have ideas but any suggestions would be great! **_


	3. 3 Sucker Love

_**Wow guys, thanks for the reviews your all great! '****Trudeaux'**** I like the idea of using cosmic love, I think I might try and fit it in somewhere, and '****Grass hopper' ****I love the idea of using placebo! There amazing so thanks for the suggestion I hope this chapter is okay, comments are always appreciated and keep up with the song ideas! **_

_**All of this chapter is in Naomi's pov and Since I got such good responses I decided to treat you guys to a pretty long chapter. With 2 songs and some Naomily bonding . . . Nothing like that perverts. You have to wait for that ;)**_

_**Oh I nearly forgot. I changed the name. It was my first choice but I changed it at the last minute so I have decided to change it back. So its now called, What difference does it make? Which is a song by The Smiths and it inspired this fic. **_

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><p><span>Naomi<span>

We walked into the club and I was surprised to see how busy it was, the band were going to have a pretty big audience and I was nervous for them, I couldn't imagine what Emily felt like but I got the feeling that she was used to it and at no point did she look nervous or worried. I followed Freddie to a table that was already full with people. Only two I recognised.

"Effy, Pandora" I shouted. They both stood and hugged me, Pandora held onto me for a long time screaming into my shoulder, still as crazy as ever.

Pandora introduced me to Thomas, her boyfriend and JJ who I had heard Freddie talk about. I could have picked him out without being introduced; the poor guy looked scared as hell. Cook sat by him and played with his hair slinging his arm around JJ's shoulder. JJ smiled widely and seemed to calm down a bit.

"Where the fuck have you been Fitch?" One of the boys said angrily.

"I'm early" Emily said pulling out her phone, "Its half 7."

"Yeah and we play at 8" he snapped back.

"We don't have time to practise now" Another boy sulked.

"We don't need to practise" the girl stepped in, "We all know the songs, we just need to pick one"

They started to argue and I then realised they were Emily's band, Pandora told me their names while they all tried to pick songs to play.  
>A tall boy with long blonde hair and piercing blue eyes, Zac. Another boy with short styled brown hair and tanned skin; Ayden. And a girl with long curly brown hair wearing only boy shorts and a vest called Carmen. They were definitely a charismatic attractive bunch.<br>The band calmed down and it seemed that there were no hard feelings between them. Emily came over and handed me a drink, she smiled and walked off with the band.  
>The four stepped onto the stage and the crowd erupted, Ayden sat behind a large drum kit, Zac picked up a guitar and Carmen a bass. Emily walked over to the central microphone with black electric guitar hanging from her shoulders, it looked odd as she was so tiny but it seemed to fit her perfectly.<p>

"Hey" Emily spoke into the microphone, "We are the Diamond dogs" she announced and the crowd cheered again.

Emily began strumming her guitar as if it was an extension of herself, Zac and Carmen followed shortly after filling in the sound, and Ayden kept the rhythm. They looked and sounded so professional. Emily began to sing, her voice somewhat raspy the lyrics fast flowing perfectly with the instruments.

Sucker Love is heaven sent  
>You pucker up, our passion's spent<br>My hearts a tart, your body's rent  
>My body's broken, yours is bent.<p>

Carve your name into my arm  
>Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed<br>Cuz there's nothing else to do  
>every me and every you.<p>

Sucker Love, a box I choose  
>No other box I choose to use<br>Another love I would abuse  
>No circumstances could excuse<p>

Like the naked leads the blind  
>I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind<br>Sucker Love I always find  
>Someone to bruise and leave behind.<p>

All alone in space and time  
>There's nothing here but what here's mine<br>Something borrowed something blue  
>Every me and every you<br>Every me and every you  
>Every me every you<br>Every me and every you  
>Every me<br>Every me and every you  
>Every me<br>Every me and every you  
>Every me.<p>

The guitars faded out and the crowd screamed for more, Emily's face lit up she seemed so happy. Zac spoke into the microphone in front of him.

"We'll be taking a short break but will be back shortly" They all walked of stage together while some random club tune filled the speakers keeping the audience occupied.

The table cheered them as they walked over with smiles plastered on their faces.

"What are we going to play next?" Carmen asked, bringing the earlier problem back to everyone's attention.

Nobody answered the question, "Do you guys write the music too?" I asked Carmen.

"Yeah Em does" She answered. I was more and more impressed by them.

"I vote assassin" Cook suddenly said.

"Yeah" The rest of the group resounded.

"What's that one about?" I asked curious.

"It's like a metaphor, it's about being a player you know, and then you meet someone exactly like that and you fall for them and they play you" Carmen answered.

"Emily wrote it about Effy" Ayden added.

"Emily and Effy?" I asked shocked.

Ayden laughed and I saw Emily shoot him a look, begging him to stop.

"I'm cool with it" Effy said coyly.

"Great Assassin it is then" Emily announced.

This song was much different than the first one; Emily had swapped to an acoustic guitar and sang much slower her voice smooth and steady.

"I work in the dead of night  
>When the roads are quiet<br>And no one is around  
>To track my moves<br>Racing the yellow lights  
>To find the gate is open<br>She's waiting in the room  
>I just slip on through<br>You get in, you get done And then you get gone  
>You never leave a trace Or show your face<br>You get gone  
>Should have turned around And left before the sun came up again<br>But the sun came up again"

Zac and Ayden provided backing vocals.

"Into the morning light  
>To find the day is burning<br>The curtains and the wine  
>In a little white room<br>No, I'm not alone  
>Her head is heavy on me<br>She's sleeping like a child  
>What could I do?<br>You get in, you get done  
>And then you get gone<br>You never leave a trace Or show your face  
>you get gone<br>Should have turned around And left before the sun came up again  
>But the sun came up again"<p>

The music sped up and Emily's voice became strong again.

"I was a killer, was the best they'd ever seen  
>I'd steal your heart before you ever heard a thing<br>I'm an assassin and I had a job to do  
>Little did I know that girl was an assassin too<br>Suddenly, I'm in over my head  
>And I can hardly breathe<br>Suddenly, I'm floating over her bed  
>And I feel everything<br>And suddenly I know exactly what I did  
>But I cannot move a thing<br>And suddenly I know exactly what I've done  
>And what it's gonna mean to me, mean to me"<p>

The music began to pick up pace and Emily inhaled deeply

"I'm gone"

She held the note perfectly while Zac had a guitar solo before jumping into another chorus together.

"I was a killer, was the best they'd ever seen  
>I'd steal your heart before you ever heard a thing<br>I'm an assassin and I had a job to do  
>Little did I know that girl was an assassin too<br>She's an assassin She's an assassin She's an assassin She's an assassin  
>And she had a job to do"<p>

Emily finished off.

Effy, Freddie and I stayed in the club for a while after watching Emily's band; we mostly talked and had a good catch up. Pandora, Thomas and JJ had left almost straight after the band stopped and Cook had left with some blonde not long after. Emily and the rest of the band had left to take back equipment.  
>Once Emily returned Freddie decided to leave, he offered me a ride home but I didn't feel like leaving yet.<p>

"So where'd you come here from?" Emily asked coming to sit next to me in the booth.

"I've been living in America, but I grew up here" I shouted over the music.

"How long have you known Freds for?" Emily came closer to my face so that we could hear each other over the music.

"Since we were 16, I went to college with him, Eff and Pandora back in Bristol"

"I already knew all that" Emily laughed.

"What?" I laughed back confused.

"I've heard a lot about you, they talk about you quite often, the big successful friend back in America, I almost didn't believe them until they announced you were coming" Emily explained.

I felt a little self conscious that she knew about me, I wondered what in particular they had told her, and how they had made me out to be.

"Do you want to get some air?" Emily shouted to me. I then noticed Effy was gone, I followed Emily through the crowd and out the doors, where she led me into an alley way round the side of the building.

She lit up a cigarette and offered me one.

"No thanks I don't smoke"

"You sound surprised."

"Well just that your friends with this lot, I just kind of assumed." She joked. "Well good for you" she said whilst taking a long drag. I watched her as she inhaled and exhaled the large clouds of smoke.

"Go on then" I said giving in a taking a tab from her.

She came forward and put the lighter at the end of the cigarette hanging from my mouth, I glanced at her eyes so close to mine and felt myself being pulled in by the brown orbs. She looked up and met my gaze holding it for a while.

"We should find Effy" I said breaking the silence.


	4. Morning

**Some filler, I really wanted to update but didn't have anything solid, so I just wrote this.  
><strong>_**Grasshopper**_**, you have great taste in music ;) **_**Trudeaux**_** Automatic loveletter is one of my favourite bands I love them! **_**.Blah **_**You will learn more about Emily next chapter ;) Well some bits anyway, Emily has some secrets ... Dun dun dunnnnn.  
>Thanks everyone else for the reviews they really make me smile. Don't know when my next update will be but I will try and make it soon.<strong>

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><p>Naomi<p>

I peeled my eyes apart exposing them to the harsh light coming in through the small window. I lifted myself up on my elbows feeling the full effect of my hangover; I held my head scanning my brain trying desperately to remember last night. Come to think of it whose bed am I in?  
>I looked to the bottom of the bed and saw Effy at my feet wearing only her shorts; I pushed the blanked over her covering her bare chest. I immediately checked myself finding relief in the fact I did have clothes on.<br>The room was rather plain, the walls painted white and only housed a rather large bed and a piano.  
>Piano-Music-Emily. I put together the pieces and became increasingly worried about the nights events.<br>I remembered watching her band perform, then having a few drinks, we must have went to at least four different clubs. I vaguely remember the taxi ride, but after that it's blank. I haven't been in this kind of state since university.  
>I took a deep breath and stepped onto the wooden floor, I opened the bedroom door and it confirmed my suspicions of it being Emily's apartment as I recognized the main living room.<p>

"Morning" I heard the raspy voice call. I looked over to the kitchen and saw the redhead making coffee. "You want one?"

"Yes please" I said walking over and sitting on the stool at the counter. "What the hell happened last night?" I asked rubbing my head.

"You had a good time" she laughed.

"Was it worth this headache?" Emily laughed more.

"Yeah we were pretty wasted"

"Why is Effy in there naked?"

"She does that when she drinks"

"But nothing happened?" I said looking at her.

"What with you and Effy?" She asked sounding surprised with a slight laugh.

"With anyone"

"No" she said more serious now "I even gave up bringing someone back for you two"

"Ooh what a sacrifice" I joked.

"Hey you didn't see her" we both laughed.

"Hey man, make me one would you" Cook said appearing from his bedroom in his boxer shorts, "Hey Naomi" he said sitting on the stool next to me.

"No" he said his eyes widening looking back and forth between me and Emily.

"What?" I asked.

"No way are you that good" He said to Emily, I looked at Emily confused, she seemed angry.

"Shut up Cook"

"No way you managed to bring her back the first night, she's straight man"

"Cook" Emily said angrily.

"I just stayed over" I said "I was really drunk"

"So that's how you swung it"

"Cook, nothing happened" Emily said widening her eyes at him, instructing him to shut up.

"Alright alright" he said in defeat.

"I should probably get back to Freddie's anyway" I said standing from the stool.

"I can take you back if you want" Emily offered.

"Yeah sure"

Emily

"So did you have a good time last night then?" I asked as we entered my car.

"Yeah I did" She smiled back showing off her perfect gleaming teeth.

I turned on the stereo, forgetting what CD I last had in the car I waited till I recognized it.

"You like this?" I checked.

"Yeah, Joy division right?"

"Yeah" I said impressed, "You have good taste" She shrugged laid-back.

"You were good last night, I mean the band, you guys were amazing"

"Thanks" I said slightly embarrassed.

We talked for the majority of the short drive, it seemed Naomi and I had a lot in common and I liked her, I wanted to know more about her. I stopped outside Freddie's house and Naomi stepped outside the car.

"Naomi" I said before she shut the door.

"Mhm" she said turning back to face me.

"What are you doing later?"

"I doubt anything exciting"

"Great, I'll pick you up at eight" I smirked.

"Oh really?" she raised her eyebrows in objection.

"Yeah, I'm going to show you around this dump"

"And what if I said no"

"Yeah, like you really want to say no" I grinned driving off.


	5. The Important Stuff

_**I can't believe how long it has been since I last updated! I have been super busy at the moment, but I went to a party last night and came home absolutely wired and with nothing to do I decided to write a new chapter for you guys, I hope you like it.**_

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><p>Naomi<p>

I nervously walked to the front door and opened it to Emily. She looked very casual in jeans and a black long sleeve shirt with some band name plastered across the front, which made me a lot more comfortable seen as I had chosen to wear leggings a skirt and blouse.

"Hey, you all ready to go?" Emily smiled.

"Yeah let me just grab my phone" I said turning back entering the living room.

Freddie popped his head around from his bedroom door, "Have fun on your date sweetie" Freddie grinned, almost shouting, definitely loud enough for Emily to hear just a few feet away.

"Fred" I scolded, "It's not a date" I said in a hushed tone.

"Hey Em, I want her back by midnight" he said laughing like he was the funniest person in the world.

I threw a pillow at him cutting his laughter short just as Emily shouted back for him to be quiet.  
>I returned back to the door, now more nervous than when I had first answered it.<p>

"Okay, all set" I said feeling the burning of my cheeks, hoping Emily hadn't noticed. She laughed lightly to herself confirming that she noticed.

Emily drove through town down a secluded street I had never noticed before, it seemed rather rough and most of the shops had closed for the night. We finally pulled up outside a shabby looking building with a barley lit neon sign hanging above the door. 'Angelo's.'  
>I followed Emily into the restaurant which was surprisingly full and rather lively, there was faint music playing in the background, and groups of people sat around tables laughing, all in all having a good time. I smiled broadly catching the mood of the room. Emily grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the bar, where a woman shouted something Spanish and came over smiling at Emily.<p>

"Hey Adrianna" Emily said reaching over the bar and catching the woman's cheek with her lips.

"Emily, who's the fine lady?" She said gesturing to me smiling.

"This is Naomi" Emily answered, "Were just friends" she added cautiously.

I smiled at Adrianna, admiring her beauty, shamelessly wondering how Emily knew her so well. Emily ordered a pitcher of bright green liquor and carried it over to an empty booth. We both sat and Emily slid a glass full of the sweet smelling liquid. I took a sip and let the sweet fruity taste overpower my mouth.

"Wow" I said taking another larger sip, this time catching the more alcoholic taste still slightly disguised by the fruity taste.

"Good right?" Emily said pouring her own glass.

"Damn right"

The conversation flowed effortlessly, although talking about nothing of great importance. The pitcher soon became empty and Emily ordered another with and a bowl of nachos.

"Come on then, tell me about yourself?" Emily asked as the waiter left the table.

"I thought you said you already knew about me" I said coyly.

"Not the important stuff"

"Well what's important then?"

"What's your favourite colour?"

"What" I said barely holding back a laugh, "That's your important question?"

"Yeah" Emily said coolly.

"You want to know my favourite colour?"

"Yeah"

"Not my family, where I grew up, friends?"

"That's not important"

"Really?" I asked confused.

"I don't want to know about your past, or where you come from, I want to know you" she said gently, "I want to know the girl sat in front of me, and all the things about her, in this moment, not in her past." I felt my cheeks flush at her words; she was definitely a charmer without even knowing it.

"You seem overly sensitive about the past" I said trying to turn the tables by making her feel uncomfortable.

"Maybe" But of course she didn't let her confidence slip. "You see, knowing someone's past can alter your opinion on the person they are now, you may not like the person they used to be."

"What about you, will I like the person you used to be?"

"Probably not" Emily said looking away suddenly, pretending to be looking for the waiter.

"Purple" I answered; she lifted her eyes and flashed her smile.

She continued with easy one word answer questions, and again another pitcher was gone and another ordered this time Emily decided on ordering a few beers to accompany.

"My turn" I said rubbing my hands together feeling the liquid confidence running through my veins.

"Go right ahead" Emily said popping the caps off the bottles and handing it to me.

I took a drink before starting, "You're gay, that much is obvious"

"You knew" Emily said gasping sarcastically.

"Ha ha" I said taking another drink, "When did you know?"

"I don't know really" She answered "I knew I was different, that I wasn't interested in guys, but I didn't know I was gay"

"Well then who was your first girlfriend?"

"She wasn't really my girlfriend but the first girl I was interested in?" I nodded waiting for her to carry on, "Her name was Alice"

"Alice" I nodded.

"Yeah Alice, we were 12 maybe, and she had just moved into the set of flats opposite mine, I first met her in the playground in between the two buildings and we were friends instantly, anyway I wasn't allowed out the flat to often but she had this electric toy helicopter thing with a remote control and stuff."

"Yeah" I said.

"So she would fly her helicopter from her room to mine, and they would have little messages in, so we could talk all the time. Anyway one day she kissed me, it was harmless I mean we were only kids but we had this plan that we were going to run away together and get away from our parents just the two of us."

"So what happened?" I asked sensing there was something about to go wrong in her story.

"Her dad saw us kissing one day in the playground and found all the notes she had about how we were going to run away and be together, and he moved her away"

"Just like that?"

"Just like that" Emily nodded, "I called her a few years back, found her name in the phonebook"

"What happened?" I smiled.

"Her husband answered, she wouldn't even come to the phone"

"Oh" I said feeling Emily's pain in her voice.

"Yeah, guess it was a memory she didn't want to relive" Emily shrugged drinking her beer.

We soon changed the heavy subject and ended up telling story's of the rest of the gang laughing uncontrollably. We looked at the table cluttered with empty glasses, pitchers and bottles.

"Fuck" Emily laughed.

"Looks like you won't be driving" I said joining Emily's laughter.

We waited outside in the cold for a taxi; Emily was quiet while I produced the only sound of teeth clattering in the cold. Emily looked at me in concern and stood behind me wrapping her arms around my shivering body enveloping me in her warmth.

"Thanks" I said my lips shaking.

"Don't mention it" she said a smile noticeable in her voice.

We rode back in the taxi quieter than it had been all night; I was worried that the night would be awkward with me knowing so little about Emily and being not quite sure of her intentions but it turned out that the only awkwardness was the ride home. We pulled up outside Freddie's apartment and I thanked Emily for the night, she smiled and said goodnight and I exited the taxi watching it drive away into the darkness.  
>I walked up the stairs and into the apartment quietly, sensing that Freddie was asleep, I flicked on the lights and sat on the sofa, replaying the night wondering what had gone wrong. There was a slight knock on the door barely audible. I stood up and walked over gingerly opening the door.<p>

"Hi" Emily said standing in the doorway.

"Hi" I said in confusion.

Just then Emily stepped forward and captured my lips with hers, kissing me softly. Not at all what I had expected to happen. She gently pulled away and looked into my eyes assessing the situation. I looked back at her not knowing what to do.

"Well good night" Emily said walking away down the stairs without another word.

I stood in shock, processing what had just happened. What I had done, well this wasn't going to make it more awkward between us at all.


	6. No sleepovers, No girlfriend

_**Filler, so its short. I'm trying to write as much as I can lately seen as I left you all in the dark for so long. So expect a new chapter very soon!**_

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><p>Emily<p>

I twitched uncomfortably in the large wooden chair, sighing while stretching my back. I received a glare of annoyance from the secretary who never stopped typing. A gangly man stepped awkwardly from the office opposite me, muttering thank you as he walked away from the door. Helen followed him telling him she will see him in a week's time, she looked over to me and gestured me into her office.

I stepped into the large room filled with bookcases, and two comfortable chairs placed in the centre. I sunk into the chair reliving my back from the stress of the wooden one I had been stuck to for the past twenty minutes.

"Sorry I kept you waiting" Helen said taking her seat opposite mine.

"No problem, looks like he's in more need than I am" I trailed my eyes over to the huge window taking up a whole wall, showcasing the London streets.

"So how are we this week?" She asked pulling out her notepad in record time.

"Fine, bands doing well" I answered not taking my eyes off the transparent wall.

"That's good" she snapped her fingers forcing me to look her in the eye. "I know you don't like coming here, but it really does help you" she said kindly.

"I know" I said coldly after hearing this speech every week for the past I don't know how many months.

"You seem distant" Helen pointed out scribbling in the notebook.

"Really?" I said sarcastically.

"What's on your mind?"

"Nothing of importance"

"Met any one new lately?" I looked at her in disbelief, she always knew these things. "So who is it then?" She smiled knowing she had won.

"A friend of a friend" I said in disbelief.

"Girl or boy?"

"Girl" I sighed.

"Mhm, does this girl have a name?" she said as if I was a five year old.

"Naomi" I replied in the same patronizing tone.

"So Naomi is a friend?" I nodded "And do you want this friendship to develop?" She asked raising her eyebrows.

"No were just friends"

"Right, so your still doing the whole, no sleepovers, no girlfriend, I don't do love act"

"It's not an act" I said boldly.

"Right, so you never want to settle down, meet a nice girl, no more sleeping around?"

"Doesn't sound very appealing to be honest" I crossed my arms defiantly.

"You're going to have to let your guard down some time, I've seen the real Emily, you just have to open up to people"

"Look, I'm sorry Helen but what do you want me to do, walk around shouting my problems for the whole world to hear?"

"No but you have to be less guarded, let people in. I can see that this Naomi is bothering you"

"She's not bothering me"

"The idea of her is bothering you, you don't know where you stand, what she wants"

"Your way off base, you don't even know her"

"Right then, so tell me, come on" She prompted, clicking her pen as if it were a starting pistol.

I gave in to Helen, knowing it was a losing battle if I continued to ignore her, the hour went by surprisingly fast and I was relieved when she announced time was up.

"Remember Emily, talk to her, find out what she wants" Helen said as I stood to leave.

"Right" I nodded.


	7. Bare body's, Pierced Nipple

**I went to another party last night and got absolutely hammered and spent half the night with my head stuck in the toilet, and then woke up with a wicked bad hangover and a rather large cut on my hand. The plus to this? Well after taking a lengthy shower and popping a few pills, I was at my laptop and ready to write. So here it is, I hope it's okay. Its kinda short too. Oh and Emilys band haven't played in a while, they may or may not appear in the next chapter. Ooooh, who knows? **

* * *

><p>Emily<p>

I walked around the park passing time, I knew I would have to go home sooner or later but it couldn't hurt to put it off as long as I could, I really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone else today.  
>It was getting colder by the second by breath drifted in front of my face, the cold nip of the wind attacking my face making it frozen. I should have worn warmer clothing. Eventually the cold became too much and after counting the Goosebumps on my arm one by one, I decided it was time to leave.<p>

I walked up to the flat and was greeted by Cook in his underpants nosily slurping cereal, and I realised he had just woken up.

"Morning sunshine" he grinned.

"You do realise its after four"

"Yeah" he said obviously, I shrugged and went to sit next to him.

"What we watching?"

"Dunno really, something about a war, god knows" he said sucking the milk from his spoon.

"Cook, this is the news" I said as the presenter announced the next segment.

"Yeah whatever" he shrugged. "You out tonight yeah?"

"Nah, I think I'll pass"

"What" he said mouth open, displaying all the little coco pops sitting on his tongue. "Why not?"

"Don't feel like it" There was a loud knock at the door and Cook didn't even flinch, "Suppose I'll get it then"

"Naomi" I said surprised.

"Hi, um, can we you know, like, talk" she stammered.

"Yeah sure" I said opening the door wider, she saw Cook and didn't move so I joined her in the hall.

"What's up?" I asked closing the door behind us.

"Last night" she started. "I had a really, I mean, it was, you were, I had" she fumbled awkwardly, "fun" she finished.

"Yeah me too"

"But um" She stopped suddenly.

"Naomi, I-" she shook her head cutting me off, and without another word she turned and walked away. "Naomi" I shouted after her. "What the fuck"

I went back into the flat totally confused about what had just happened.

"Who was that?" Cook asked looking up from the bowl his head was practically buried in.

"No one" I answered, "So what time we leaving?"

Cook and I left for the club alone, everybody else using work as an excuse not to go, he soon caught his eye on some bimbo and worked his way over to her leaving me alone. I was in no mood to mingle or even try to meet somebody so I instead stood by the bar, quietly drinking a beer, I noticed a petite woman looking over at me, I watched her watch me, and I could tell this wouldn't require much effort. As I expected after a while she came over and introduced herself as Lisa. She had long blonde wavy hair, 8 piercings which I could count, tongue, nose, and at least 6 in her ears, and from what skin was exposed it was covered in ink.

Naomi

My plan to talk things through with Emily hadn't gone how I had hoped, I was way too embarrassed to say anything and completely confused about the whole situation. I didn't know what Emily wanted or expected to happen between us. I knew I wasn't gay and if I just had the guts to actually talk to Emily I'm sure she would understand. I waited all night trying to find the courage to actually go over to her apartment, and once I got there I found myself sitting in the car for much too long.  
>I could hear the TV through the thin door and when nobody answered I walked in, knowing somebody must be inside. The living room was empty so I went to Emily's bedroom and without thinking opened the door.<br>A bare tattooed body turned to face me; the first thing I noticed was the pierced nipple that greeted me as she looked in shock, but after seeing her properly I was astounded by her beauty. I stood unable to speak for what seemed like forever but in reality must have only been seconds. Emily's head peaked around the blonde bombshell and stared me straight in the eye. I left the room immediately and practically ran back downstairs and sped away.  
>I shouldn't feel as hurt as I do, I shouldn't. I told myself this over and over again, trying to convince myself that what just happened wasn't a big deal. Which it wasn't. I thought that the night before Emily was interested, that she was flirting, she was definitely flirting, and the kiss. She must have liked me. But why would she be sleeping with some random girl the next day. God Naomi, get a hold of yourself. She did it because that's what she does, you don't even know the girl, and she can fuck whoever she wants. You came here to tell her you were straight, that you didn't want anything from her, this is a good thing, it means she's not interested, its fine.<br>I slowed down and returned my breathing back to normal, again telling myself how good this situation was.


	8. Just the drugs

_**I've been working on a new story that I'm really pleased with, but don't worry I'm not neglecting this fic, I have just been super busy with school. Anyway the point to me telling you this is that I'm writing it in a different style so it was a bit difficult to come back to this one, so I have decided to try and write this chapter in that style. Let me know if you don't like it or you think I should write it the way I have been. **_

_**So here's the new chapter and I really am sorry for taking long to update, here have a drink on me. **_

* * *

><p>Naomi stood in a perfectly kept garden looking around with squinted eyes, she contemplated running away saving herself. She looked around at the surrounding houses and caught a glimpse of a shadow watching her across the street, nosy old bag.<p>

"Fucking hell" she muttered to herself. She looked at Pandora's family home, memories flying around her mind; she let out a short laugh remembering her erratic mother.

"Hi" A familiar raspy voice said from behind the perfectly trimmed hedge, Emily appeared with a shy smile.

Naomi nodded once at the short redhead standing in front of her, "She didn't think you would come" Emily said taking a step closer to the blonde. "I asked her to invite you"

"Emily" Naomi started "I'm not gay" the words passed Naomi's lips in a flash, before she had the chance to think about the conversation she was starting.

"What?"

"I'm not" She said quieter, slightly defensive.

"Nobody said you were Naomi" Emily said carefully, Naomi stood awkwardly, her eyes focused on the bag Emily was carrying. "Did I freak you out the other night or something?" Emily offered.

"No" the blonde lied.

"Look, I'm sorry, let's just put it down to drunken fun okay?" Emily lied comforting Naomi, she knew she was not drunk and she knew it was what she had wanted to do.

"Okay"

"And I'm sorry for you, you know, walking in"

"Don't worry about it" They both laughed slightly, shaking their heads.

"So what is this anyway, because Panda told me it was a pyjama party" Naomi laughed as they walked towards the front door.

"Yeah it is"

"She wasn't joking?" Naomi laughed surprised, "She's still doing these?"

"Every year" Emily laughed. "Well she stopped for a bit after Cook crashed one a few years ago and ended up completely trashing the place."

"Bummer" Naomi imagined Cook doing this, from the little she had seen of him she could tell he was the rebellious type. "So did you bring your pyjamas then?" Naomi laughed.

"I don't wear pyjamas" Emily said coolly.

"Right" Is all Naomi could reply.

Pandora answered the door excitedly almost screaming in the girls faces.

"Naomi"" She shouted catching her in a hug, "Emsy said you would come" she smiled.

* * *

><p>Emily and Naomi were the last to arrive; Effy was also there with a few other girls that Naomi was introduced to. Emily went searching for Effy in the kitchen finding her stirring a mixture with a devilish smirk.<p>

"Fuck off, you aren't cooking are you?" Emily joked.

Effy produced a bag of white powder with an all too familiar smirk on her face. Emily took hold of the bag inspecting the powder, "Nice" She nodded her approval.

"Only the finest" Effy winked emptying the contents into the cake mixture, "Is Naomi here?" She asked with an all knowing smile.

"Yeah she's just through there, why?"

"No reason" she grinned.

"Eff, can you just not" Emily said seriously.

"Can I not what?

"Do that fucking thing you do, Naomi and I are friends"

"Mhmh" she nodded.

"So stop making out like its otherwise"

"Okay, okay" Effy said waving her arms in defeat. "She likes you, you know" she said opening the oven and placing the cake mixture.

"What did I just say" Emily shouted pointing her finger at Effy in a joking tone.

* * *

><p>The night was easy and fun, Naomi got to know the other few girls and enjoyed catching up with Effy and Pandora. By the time night rolled around the girls were well and truly gone, the cakes Effy had made were demolished almost immediately and the girls split off in their own trance.<p>

Naomi and Emily found themselves dancing together in the living room; Naomi left Emily in search for more alcohol, returning to her with her hands full of various bottles.

"So what'd you want Ems?" she said inspecting the bottles "Pinot grigio or-" Naomi looked at the bottle in confusion slurring her words, her whole body was warm and altogether blurry, her vision was focused on one thing and one thing only the deep penetrating brown eyes transfixed on her.

"Anything" Emily answered, staring into the remarkable blue eyes asking, "Just give me" Emily caught her breath, she knew what she wanted, but was it acceptable? The drugs were working their way around her small body, she wanted to touch everything, to feel, she wanted to feel Naomi, she thought to herself that if anybody else had been standing in front of her, she wouldn't have felt the same tugging want, pulling her into Naomi. She had to answer it, had to try.

"Just give me a fucking-" she said fixing her eyes on the full lips as Naomi ran her tongue softly across them.

"Just give me a-" her eyes found Naomi's again, who was looking confused at the mumbling, slurring girl.

Emily moved forward slowly catching Naomi's lips in hers; she gave her a gentle kiss pulling away she nervously brought her eyes back to Naomi, who still had her eyes closed. Once she opened them they found Emily's instantly. Naomi bit on her bottom lip; she wanted Emily to kiss her again.

"It's only the drugs right?" Naomi clarified.

Emily nodded her head rapidly moving her eyes from eyes to lips, from blue to pink. Naomi moved toward the redhead capturing her waiting mouth in a heated kiss. Naomi dropped the bottles that remained in her hands onto the nearby sofa, never breaking the kiss.

Emily bravely moved her hands onto Naomi's hips groping and grabbing, Naomi brought her arm up to Emily's head, wrapping around the back of her neck and losing her hand in Emily's hair. Their kiss became more rapid, filled with lust and want. Emily felt the tugging again deep in her stomach, she wanted this girl, she wanted her, she knew this.

Naomi slowed her lips and gently pulled away, her hands still tangled in the red locks. Emily smiled while Naomi wore the same confused but ever so slightly satisfied look.

"You liked that" Emily smirked, planting a small peck on Naomi's lips and skipping happily out the room.

"Yes" Naomi said to the empty room.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Short I know, but I'm on holiday now so hopefully I will get some good stuff to you soon, keep reading, keep reviewing. <strong>_


	9. SarahCarmen

_**A free cookie to whoever recognizes the poem used in this chapter. **_

_**Okay so I'm uploading this quickly I haven't really had time to proof read or make any changes, so please excuse that, I just really wanted to give you all a new chapter. And Emily will definitely be singing in the next chapter I have the song ready and everything! **_

* * *

><p>Once again Naomi pushed Emily away, acting like nothing had happened, it was driving Emily crazy. The morning after Pandora's party she had awoken snuggled into the blonde on a small sofa, perfectly happy. But Naomi acted like it was normal, like the previous night hadn't been filled with endless kissing. As much as it hurt Emily she understood, she understood that she was scared and didn't want to accept what had happened, so Emily wouldn't push her.<p>

A few days after the party Naomi had come to Emily's apartment, Emily was elated when she opened the door to the pretty blonde but tried her hardest not to show it, she couldn't let Naomi know how completely helpless she was when it came to her.

It was just a casual visit, Naomi explained that she was just bored and thought she would come over. They sat in Emily's room as Cook was entertaining some lady guests in the main room. Naomi walked around the large bed that took up most of the room and went over to a small desk tucked in the corner. On it was a large tattered, very worn out leather notebook.

Naomi ran her fingers across the cover feeling every crease. "What's this?" Naomi asked still inspecting the aged book.

"Just thoughts" Emily said gently, "Songs, poems and such"

"Yeah?" Naomi said still looking at the book.

"Yeah, I haven't written much lately though" Emily confessed.

"Why not?"

"Lack of inspiration?" Emily shrugged, "I don't know"

Naomi picked up the book "Read me something" she said outstretching her hand towards Emily who lay on the bed.

"What do you want me to read?" Emily asked carefully.

"Anything, something you wrote" Naomi said intensely, joining Emily on the bed still clutching the sacred book.

"I don't know" Emily said lightly.

Naomi opened the book and flicked randomly through the pages eventually stopping on one, "Read me this" she said handing the book to Emily.

She looked at the page at what Naomi had chosen, "What is it?" Naomi asked.

"A poem" Emily said making eye contact. Emily sighed audibly eventually giving into the penetrating blue gaze.

"_I see them standing at the formal gates of their colleges_" Emily began, looking up from the page to Naomi who was listening intently; she gave Emily a gentle smile, nodding her to continue.

"_I see my father strolling out under the ochre sandstone arch, the red tiles glinting like bent plates of blood behind his head."_

"_I see my mother with a few light books at her hip, standing at the pillar made out of tiny bricks, the wrought iron gate still open behind her, its sword tips aglow in the may air."_

"_They are about to graduate, they are about to get married, they are kids, they are dumb, all they know is they are innocent, they would never hurt anybody." _

Naomi was listening so closely, watching every word shape on Emily's lips and trying to understand her feelings, what she had felt when she had formed these words, when she had wrote them down and finalised her thoughts.

"_I want to go up to them and say stop, don't do it – she's the wrong woman, he's the wrong man, you are going to things you cannot imagine you would ever do, you are going to do bad things to children, you are going to suffer in ways you have not heard of, you are going to want to die." _

Naomi watched Emily with more care now, listening to the dark words of her poem, she had understood that parents were somewhat off limits to Emily and now she was more intrigued than ever by her past, the past that Emily had so closely guarded that night at the restaurant.

"_I want to go up to them there in the late may sunlight and say it, her hungry pretty face turning to me, her pitiful beautiful untouched body, his arrogant handsome face turning to me his pitiful beautiful untouched body, but I don't do it. I want to live."_

"_I take them up like the male and female paper dolls and bang them together at the hips, like chips of flint, as if to strike sparks from them, I say, do what you are going to do, and I will tell about it." _

Emily stopped but kept her head down, her eyes still trained to the words in front of her.

"That was beautiful" Naomi said softly. Emily remained quiet.

"I've never read anybody anything before" Emily said her voice quiet.

"You should, you're really talented" Naomi said truthfully. "Was that about you, I mean, your parents?" She asked bravely.

"Yeah" Emily said hesitantly, looking up to meet watery blue eyes.

"What did they do to you?" Naomi asked.

"They didn't do anything" Emily said shutting the book running her finger down the long spine. "That's enough for story time" Emily smiled light heartedly. "And don't ask me to sing you any songs either" she joked, they both laughed.

"Have you written anything about me yet?" Naomi asked raising her eyebrow.

"No" Emily laughed, "You wouldn't know if I had though" Emily challenged.

"What you don't name and shame?"

"Nah, I use fake names, or just not at all"

"Well how will I know if you do write anything about me?"

"That's the point you won't" Emily laughed.

"We should have code names" Naomi said excitedly.

"Oh yeah?" Emily laughed.

"Yeah, if you ever write anything about me call me..." Naomi thought, she imagined Emily on stage singing about her, "Sarah, or Carmen" Naomi finally said.

"Sarah or Carmen, got it" Emily smiled, "But wait, Carmen's in the band that could get confusing"

"Yeah, it will confuse people, that way they won't know the songs really about me" Naomi winked; Emily just laughed at her logic.

Emily was having fun; she enjoyed having Naomi around her just being herself, but she knew it was only a matter of time before Naomi started running from her again.

Cook burst through the door excitedly, "Get ready" he said throwing a piece of clothing at Emily.

"What?" She asked irritated.

"Were going out, now spruce up yeah" he grinned cheekily, "You can come too Naomikins" he winked closing the door.

* * *

><p>Naomi wasn't exactly happy about going out but she felt couldn't stand to be away from Emily. She stayed sat at the table for a good portion of the night as Cook, Emily and Effy spent the night dancing, drinking and talking to people. Naomi watched Emily carefully as one girl after another tried their luck with her. Every time she watched it happen her heart sank just a little, but every time Emily declined. Freddie stayed by Naomi's side nursing a beer.<p>

"I don't know how they do it" Naomi said watching Effy and Emily on the dance floor.

"Hmm?" Freddie asked over the music.

"Coming here every night, don't you ever get tired?" She said turning to face him.

"Not really" Freddie smiled his eyes lazy from the alcohol.

"Emily's out like every night, god I really don't want to be like that" She confessed, Naomi had not noticed Emily slip down next to her at the table, Emily let out a small cough to announce her presence and Naomi shot around quickly locking eyes with the redhead.

"What you guys doing?" Emily asked acting like she had not heard the conversation.

"Nothing" Naomi said quickly, picking up her drink from the table.

"Do you want to dance?" Emily tried.

"No I'm good" Naomi said casually.

"Whatever" Emily said with an eye roll, getting up and leaving the table.

* * *

><p>Emily made her way through the crowd searching for Effy, she eventually found her and took two pills from her, Naomi watched in disbelief from the other side of the room, she shook her head and downed the rest of her drink.<p>

Naomi found herself talking to some guy at the bar, he was well kept with a tidy haircut and sporting a checked shirt, he very politely offered to buy her a drink and Naomi accepted, eventually finding her way to his table.

Emily watched Naomi secretly, waiting for the pills to kick in so she could stop feeling sorry for herself and actually enjoy the night. She tore her eyes away from Naomi just as she was getting close to the mystery guy. She went over to the bar and ordered three shots for herself, downing them one after the other. She felt a sudden rush of euphoria as the drugs kicked in. She looked around the room and spotted a familiar face; she made her way over to her and started to work her magic.

Within minutes Emily was dancing with Rebecca, and after a half hour they were up against the wall making out. They found a booth at the side of the club away from the mass crowds of people and tucked themselves away. Emily planned on taking Rebecca home tonight, it wouldn't be the first time, and she knew it would be an easy no strings attached night.

Emily went to the bar to get drinks for her and Rebecca; Naomi spotted her and came up to her.

"What are you doing?" Naomi said confidently.

"Um, getting drinks"

"What are you doing with her?" Naomi corrected.

"Same thing you're doing with that guy probably" Emily countered.

"You came here with me and now you're making out with some random girl and avoiding me"

"First of all she's not random, her name is Rebecca and she's quite lovely"

"Yeah right" Naomi scoffed.

"And secondly, you've been over their all night with a _random_ guy" Emily emphasised.

"I haven't been on top of him for the majority of the night" Naomi said raising her voice.

"I really don't get you, Naomi" Emily said keeping her voice level, "One minute you like me, the next you're running away from me, what do you want?" Emily asked deeply.

"Were friends" Naomi said shaking her head at Emily's words.

"Well in that case, I'm off to have meaningless sex with that girl over there so please do excuse me" Emily said taking her drinks and returning to Rebecca.

"Emily" Naomi shouted over the music.

"Good night Naomi" She shouted back, just load enough for her to hear.


	10. Flesh and Bone

_**Okay, so I'm back at school tomorrow and I have exams and other boring stuff, so unfortunately that probably means that I won't be able to update this, so I've wrote this to hold you over, and TWO songs for you, Emily's been busy. The songs are: Lana Del Rey (Carmen) and Keaton Henson (Flesh and Bone) so listen to them while your reading. Enjoy and Review. **_

The light hit Emily centre stage and the crowd went crazy with excitement, Emily looked over the crowd, speaking into the echoing microphone, the crowd cheered after every sentence. She felt alive, electric; the blood ran through her small body and gave her a rush of excitement. The band started with their instruments, as Emily stood at the microphone ready to sing.

Darling, Darling, doesn't have a problem  
>Lying to herself cause her liquors top shelf<br>Its alarming honestly how charming she can be  
>Fooling everyone, telling them she's having fun<p>

She says she don't want to be like me  
>Don't wanna see all the things i've seen<br>I'm dying, I'm dying  
>She's says she don't want to get this way<br>Famous and dumb at an early age  
>I'm lying, I'm lying<p>

The boys the girls they all like Carmen  
>She gives them butterflies, bats her cartoon eyes<br>She laughs like god, her minds like a diamond

Buy her tonight; she's still shining  
>like lightning, like lightning.<p>

Carmen, Carmen, I'm staying up till morning  
>Only seventeen, but I walk the streets so mean<br>It's alarming truly how disarming you can be  
>Eating soft ice cream, Coney island queen.<p>

She says she don't want to be like me  
>looking for fun, getting high for free<br>I'm dying, I'm dying  
>She's says she don't want to get this way<br>street walk at night, and a star by day  
>it's tiring, tiring<p>

The boys the girls they all like Carmen  
>She gives them butterflies, bats her cartoon eyes<br>She laughs like god, her minds like a diamond

Buy her tonight; she's still shining  
>like lightning, like lightning.<p>

Baby's all dressed up with nowhere to go  
>That's the little story of the girl you know<br>Relying on the kindness of strangers  
>Tying cherry knots, smiling, doing party favours<br>Put your red dress on, put your lipstick on  
>Sing your song, now the camera's on<br>And your alive again.

The boys the girls they all like Carmen  
>She gives them butterflies, bats her cartoon eyes<br>She laughs like god, her minds like a diamond

Buy her tonight; she's still shining  
>like lightning, like lightning.<p>

Darling, darling doesn't have a problem  
>Lying to herself cause her liquors top shelf.<p>

* * *

><p>"I can't believe she would do that" Naomi paced back and forth through the apartment, feeling anger from Emily's song.<p>

"Calm down, Naomi" Freddie said through a cloud of smoke as he sat smoking a spliff. There was a knock at the door, then Effy let herself in.

"What's going on in here then" Effy said placing herself on the armchair next to Freddie stealing the spliff from him.

"Naomi's freaking out about Ems song" Freddie let out, Effy quirked her eyebrow in Naomi's direction.

"That was about you?" Naomi nodded, "Harsh" She stood from her chair and walked towards the door, "Come on I need to show you something"

* * *

><p>Effy drove them to a small club, Naomi asked again why they were here, "You need to see how she really feels"<p>

"What?" Naomi asked confused, following Effy into the club.

It was quiet and at the far end of the club was a small makeshift stage where a young man was plucking on a guitar, mumbling words. The majority of the club were around the stage, sat at various tables in front.

Naomi guessed it must be an open mic night, Effy instructed her to stay close to the bar, hidden, while Effy left her to go stand closer to the stage.

Eventually Naomi saw Emily take the stage, holding an acoustic guitar and sitting on a wooden stool, she readjusted the microphone and said a quiet "hi" to the audience.

She began strumming the guitar and sang very differently than the night before.

Her voice was relatively weak but still remained beautiful, pain was obvious and she kept her head in the direction of her guitar and floor, different from when she played at the large club and catered to the crowd.

I am alone, so don't speak  
>I find war, and I find peace<br>I find no heat, no love in me

And I am low and unwell  
>This is love, this is hell<br>This sweet plague that follows me

And my body's weak  
>Feel my heart giving up on me<br>I'm worried it might just be  
>And my body's weak<br>Feel my lungs giving up on me  
>I'm worried it might just be<br>something my soul needs  
>something my soul needs<p>

And I see a war on the screen,  
>And it is cruel and unclean<br>But I still worry more about you

And I am rude and unkind  
>Have no thought, and have no time<br>Have no eyes, so no point of view

And my body's weak,  
>I feel my heart giving up on me,<br>I'm worried it might just be  
>My body's weak,<br>feel my lungs giving up on me  
>I'm worried it might just be<br>something my soul needs  
>something my soul needs<br>something my soul needs

And I am more than this frame,  
>I feel hurt and I feel shame<br>I just wish you would feel the same

And I am more than these bones  
>I feel love, I feel alone<br>I just wish you would come home

My body's weak  
>I feel my heart giving up on me<br>I'm worried it might just be  
>My body's weak,<br>Feel my lungs giving up on me  
>I'm worried it might just be<br>something my soul needs  
>something my soul needs<br>something my soul needs

is you, lying next to me.  
>And it's you, lying next to me.<p>

* * *

><p>The harsh reality of the night's events hit Emily like a ton of bricks. She looked over to the bare body of another one night stand resting their head in her shoulder.<br>She gently pulled away letting the head fall onto the mattress. She went into the bathroom and took a reluctant Look in the mirror. Her make-up smudged, her red hair a mess, sticking up in all directions. She ran her hands under the cold tap and threw the icy water over her face.  
>She replayed the night in her mind going to the club with every intention of bringing someone back, she replayed the night that had started her downward spiral, the night she took Naomi out, the night Naomi spent with another person that was not Emily.<br>Every night since then Emily had spent the night with some unfortunate girl that was sent packing hours after they were picked up.  
>Emily jumped in the shower letting the hot water burn away the sin. When she went back into her room the girl was still flat out in her bed, Emily muttered a 'fuck sake' grabbed her bag and left the apartment, hoping she would be gone by the time of her return.<p>

Emily walked the familiar route through the park and to her therapist's office. She sat down to a waiting Helen, already with her special notebook and trusty pen.

"How are we today Emily" Helen said with a smile.

"Tired" Emily said rubbing her eyes accordingly

"Rough night?" Emily nodded, "so I'll take it hasn't been a successful week?" Helen concluded with sympathetic eyes.

"No not really" Emily had to tell someone about Naomi, she wasn't even going to fight Helen today she was glad to have her here.  
>"You know" Emily started with a sigh "I finally let someone in and it's just worthless, you spend all that time getting to know someone just to find out that you don't actually know them at all" Emily looked to Helen waiting for her to step in but she stayed quiet, "I mean I don't know her, I know nothing about her, she might as well be a stranger"<p>

"I'm going to assume we're talking about Naomi?" Helen asked regretting to her previous notes.

"Yes, Naomi"

"So what happened? Did you sleep with her?"

"No, no" Emily shook her head; "I mean we kissed a few times, but that's all"

"Okay then what?"

"Then nothing, she's acting like nothing happened"

"Maybe she thought it was a mistake"

"Maybe" Emily said, the reality hitting her, "it's like one minute she's hot the next she's cold"  
>"we had a really good day together last week, and it looked like she really liked me, so we go out that night and she spends the whole time chatting up some guy"<p>

"It sounds to me like she's confused"

"Well yeah I'm pretty confused too but I'm not ignoring her or acting like I don't know her"

"No your sleeping with other girls to forget about her"

"No" Emily denied.

"Have you spoken to her, about how you feel?"

"Sort of"

"And what does that mean, 'sort of?'"

"I asked her what she wanted and she said we were just friends but she completely freaked when she saw me with another girl"

"You want to know what I think?"

"Yeah?"

"I think Naomi is scared, she has all these new feelings, scary feelings and she doesn't know what to do with them, so you need to give her time"

"Time" Emily scoffed

"Or go and tell her how you feel" Helen shrugged.


	11. BCBG

**I Really don't have any exuses for why I haven't uploaded but I have been struggling with this chapter for a while now, I didn't really know where I was going with it but anyway this is what came out. And its extra long seen as I have left it so long to upload.**

* * *

><p>Naomi dialled Emily's number for the 4th time that day; she held the receiver to her face and took a deep breath.<p>

"Hello?" the croaky voice said on the other side, _shit too early, you've woke her up._"Hello" the voice repeated.

"Um hi" Naomi said snapping into reality.

"Hey" Emily said louder and stronger this time, Naomi thought she heard excitement in her voice but couldn't be sure.

"Can I come over? I want to talk to you" Naomi said confidently.

"Yeah sure, come over"

"Okay" Naomi confirmed and hanging up abruptly.

Emily answered the door to a nervous Naomi who entered the apartment immediately before Emily could even speak.

"Okay" Naomi said breathless, "we really need to talk, because I don't like you being angry with me"

"What, I'm not angry at you Naomi" Emily sighed closing the door and turning to Naomi.

"Well you were obviously angry when you wrote that song"

"Well yeah" Emily admitted.

"I fucking knew you were mad at me"

"Well what do you expect?"

"I didn't come here to do this" Naomi said sternly "I don't want to argue with you"

"I'm sorry" Emily saw the hurt in Naomi's eyes.

"No don't be sorry, you have every right" Emily tried to stop her but Naomi held her hand up and continued, "I know I've been confusing you but I think it's a little more confusing for me you know"

"I know I know"

"I'm just really scared you know"

"Don't be scared it's okay"

"No, not scared because I'm confused, scared because I want to fuck you" Naomi blurted out.

"Oh" is all Emily managed.

"Yeah" Naomi confirmed as an awkward silence filled the room.

Emily didn't know what to say or what to do, she offered Naomi a drink and they sat on the couch, side by side both drinking their beers.

"I came with Effy the other night, to see you play by yourself" Naomi admitted, Emily's head dropped, embarrassed. "The song was beautiful" Naomi said trying to get Emily to look her in the eye, but Emily didn't bite, "What was it about?"

"I think you know" Emily said still not lifting her head.

"Okay" Naomi said more to herself than anyone, placing her beer on the table in front of her. She put her hand to Emily's chin holding her head in her hand and placed a strong kiss on her un-expecting lips.

Emily pulled her head back searching in Naomi's eyes, drowning in the deep pools of blue staring back at her. Naomi's lip curved into a small smile, Emily smiled back and returned her lips to Naomi's. She pushed Naomi's back toward the sofa and lay over her, Naomi's hands roaming, and Emily's lost in the blonde's hair.

Their breathing was heavy as Emily's hands made their way up Naomi's shirt, tracing the warm skin beneath. Naomi grabbed hold of Emily's arm stopping her from removing the material. Their lips disconnected and Emily looked at Naomi in confusion.

"I'm sorry" Naomi said bringing her hands up to cover her face in embarrassment.

Emily smiled down at her, "it's okay Naomi, you don't have to do anything" Naomi slowly removed her hands from her face. "Besides, we haven't had a real date yet have we?" Emily smiled.

* * *

><p>Naomi threw the shirt in her hand angrily on the floor, groaning loudly scanning through her closet again. She tried on outfit after outfit trying to find the perfect one to wear on her date. What do you wear on a first date with a girl your crazy about? She debated on playing it casual as she was sure Emily would with jeans and a shirt. She eventually decided on a loose black dress that fell just above her knee.<p>

She nervously exited her bedroom and showed Freddie what she was wearing.

"Damn" Freddie said, his mouth falling open.

"It's not too much is it?"

"No" Freddie said shaking his head, "She'll love it" Naomi smiled back at him.

She sat nervously on the sofa with Freddie, her eyes darted to the door every other second. Freddie could tell how nervous she was but chose to ignore it, not wanting to get her more worked up.

After what seemed like forever three short knocks sounded from the door. Naomi looked over to Freddie her eyes wide; he smiled and nodded his head giving her the comfort she needed to stand.

Emily dressed in tight skinny black jeans and an long sleeved ripped band tee, just as Naomi expected beautiful yet casual, stood in front of Naomi, her eyes falling over her body taking in every inch of the blonde. They stood there for a good 30 seconds without saying a word.

"Tell Naomi how good she looks" Freddie called from inside the apartment, still sat on the sofa eyes still on the television.

"You look incredible" Emily said dragging her eyes from Naomi's body and meeting unbelievable blue eyes even more so than usual.

"Thanks" Naomi smiled, "You look really nice too" Naomi said.

It was now her turn to take in the redhead's beauty, she was always so effortlessly breathtaking. Her slight frame highlighted by her tight pants and loose top that fell slightly off one shoulder. Slashed and ripped across the chest and stomach small parts of her skin were visible through the material. She spotted what looked like a tattoo though she couldn't see it properly. She thought about inspecting her body without the clothes, revealing the tattoo.

"Are you ready to go?" Emily asked with a smile. Naomi nodded and followed her out the door.

"What the fuck is this?" Naomi asked disbelievingly.

"This" Emily said motioning to the scooter parked in front of them "Is our ride"

"You've got to be joking"

"No" Emily grinned handing her a helmet.

After some coaxing Naomi climbed on the back of the moped, "Okay, you ready?" Emily asked.

"Yeah" Naomi said unsure.

"Just hold on tight okay" Emily said "Don't let go"

Naomi's arms wrapped around Emily's small waist, she connected her hands together ensuring she was in no danger of falling off. Emily started the moped and took off into the street, Naomi's stomach flipped and she tightened her grip even more. A smile crept across Emily's face at the contact, simply knowing that Naomi was clinging to her for dear life held some amusement for her.

"Wasn't so bad was it?" Emily smiled climbing from the scooter. Naomi pulled off the helmet and shook her blonde locks free.

Emily led the way into a 50's type diner that she frequented. Red leather seats lined the wall and the floor was checker boarded black and white. It was neither busy nor completely dead, a few couples here and there and a group of teenagers crammed into a booth.

Naomi couldn't help thinking this was exactly Emily's style, they sat at a small table and flipped through the menus.

"Pretty cool place" Naomi said scanning the drinks menu.

"Yeah, I come here quite a lot"

"Bring all the girls here?" Naomi said half joking but half curios.

"No" Emily smiled, "Your like the 3rd person I've ever actually took out on a date" Emily said shyly.

"Oh yeah I forgot you weren't the dating type" Naomi said with a smirk.

The waitress approached the table and took the girls orders, Emily ordered a milkshake and Naomi couldn't help but laugh slightly.

"I didn't know you drank anything that didn't contain alcohol" Naomi joked as the waitress left the table.

"I'm not exactly going to get plastered when I have to carry you around on the back of my moped"

"Well I'm glad I came out with such a responsible adult"

Naomi found herself having more fun than she could remember since she had arrived in England, she and Emily talked effortlessly through the evening, and Emily made Naomi laugh so easily.

"Do you remember the first time we went out?" Naomi asked.

"Yes" Emily nodded, remembering the first time she had kissed the blonde.

"Why wouldn't you tell me anything about your past?" Naomi asked with sympathetic eyes.

"I didn't think it was important" Emily answered obviously dodging the question.

"You didn't do anything terrible did you?" Naomi said jokingly "Oh my god, did you kill somebody" Naomi said gasping exuberantly.

"What?" Emily laughed.

"Is Emily your real name, are you on the lam?" Naomi said in a hushed tone.

"Of course not, nothing like that" Emily laughed.

* * *

><p>The air was cold and forced each of the hairs on Naomi's arm to rise and stand to attention. The street lamps light the path ahead, and the sky was an extraordinary dark blue, highlighted by each star.<p>

"Thanks for tonight, I had a really nice time" Naomi smiled to the red head by her side.

"Did you have a nice time, or are you having a nice time?" Emily asked.

"What?" Naomi asked confused.

"Because if you're having a nice time, why rush to end it?"

Naomi smiled at Emily are slid her hand down Emily's arm and found her palm. She wrapped her fingers around Emily's and the two walked hand in hand down the lonely street. Emily led her to a set of stairs leading underground. They came to a large metal door which Emily knocked on three times.

"What is this place?" Emily offered no answer.

The door opened loudly uncovering a large man dressed in black looking down at the two.

"Emily" The man said in a gruff tone.

"What's up Marcus" Emily said friendly.

"Nothing much, yourself?"

"Same old" Emily shrugged.

"I hear that" Marcus nodded standing aside, taking the door with him.

The room was dimly light and was reasonably full. The majority of the room was used as a large seating area, mismatched sofa's and bar stools placed all around the room. The walls were covered with posters overlapping one another to form a large collage all but one wall that spread the width of the room painted white but covered in writing, black marker pen all over the wall. In the centre of the room was a makeshift stage, raised from the ground. On it was four young looking people playing soft music. A man and woman singing together each holding a guitar, the other two equipped with a violin and one drum; not a kit.

"It can see us through these dark days,  
>though they seem to darken as I go,<br>our love will see us through these dark, dark days sister.

They sat together on a small leather sofa and watched the band finish the song, the room clapped as they jumped down from the stage, and found themselves seats within the crowd.

"So what is this place?" Naomi repeated from earlier.

"The BCBG"

"Like the CBGB?" Naomi asked.

"Exactly" Emily smiled, impressed that Naomi knew of the CBGB. "Its kinda underground and stuff,

but a lot of bands start out here, it's where I started.

"I like it here, its cool" Naomi said looking around, "So what's on that wall?" Naomi pointed to the

wall covered in words.

"A lot of people sign it when they play here, kind of like a signature wall"

"So you're on there?"

"Yeah" Emily nodded.

Naomi stood from the sofa and walked to the wall Emily followed in a delayed reaction. Naomi

scanned the wall not knowing where to start; Emily caught up to her and grabbed her hand, pulling her further down the wall. They stopped and Naomi read every word on the wall in front of them. She finally found in block capitals, 'the diamond dogs' and scattered around each members name. 'Carmen' in a feminine curly font, 'Zac' in an illustrated bold font, 'Ayden' in capitals just below Zac's and finally Emily's in a childish scrawl smaller than the others. There was another name between Carmen's name and Emily's 'Nikki' simply wrote with a heart to dot the two I's.

"Nikki?" Naomi said bringing her eyes from the wall to Emily, "Was she in the band?"

"Yeah, she was"

"Did she leave?"

"Yeah" Emily nodded, "She was my girlfriend" Emily said after a long pause, "She wanted us to leave and go to America together, to start a new band"

"What happened?"

"I said no"

"So where is she?"

"In America, she's doing quite well actually"

"Do you regret not going with her?"

"No" Emily said immediately "No I don't" She confirmed meeting Naomi's eyes.

The two stood facing one another, both silent, both lost in each other's eyes. Naomi bravely took a step forward and pressed her lips to Emily's, they stayed like that for a while, before meeting each other's eyes again.

"Can we leave?" Naomi asked her face very close to Emily's.

"What?"

"I want to go back to yours"

Emily smiled and kissed Naomi deeper before they abandoned the club. Riding on the back of Emily's moped, with her arms wrapped tightly around Emily's small frame, Naomi thought about what she was getting into. She smiled to herself and leaned her head on Emily's back **_I want this_.**


	12. Back at her's

_**Well this was scary to write, I really hope it doesn't disappoint. I'm too embarrassed to say much more, so here you go, chapter 12. **_

Once they reached Emily's building Naomi couldn't hold herself any longer, they went inside and Naomi pushed Emily into the wall, her back colliding with the wall their lips crushed against each other.  
>Emily smiled into Naomi's lips and pushed her weight to send Naomi's back into the wall, she grabbed hold of Naomi's arms and pinned them above her head, Naomi tried to wiggle free but the struggle was pointless, Emily held her arms there with ease and smirked at the blonde. She captured her lips and kissed her hard, loosing herself in the kiss, her arms dropped free Naomi from her grasp.<br>They managed to separate long enough to climb the stairs, Emily leading the way and Naomi practically running after her.

They reached Emily's apartment door, she opened it slowly and held her finger to her lips instructing Naomi to keep quiet. They crept across the wooden floor, Naomi suppressing a laugh at their spy like movement to the bedroom.  
>Once they reached Emily's bedroom the efforts to keep quiet went straight out the window, the door closed with an audible bang and Emily had Naomi pressed against it in an instant. <p>

A chest of draws sat just to the right of the two, waist height it was perfect. Emily guided the blonde to the draws their lips never separating. Naomi took the hint and grabbed the draws with help from Emily who held her hands on the blonde's thighs, she sat on the draws.  
>The height difference was increased and Naomi looked down on the redhead with a smirk, she had to duck her head to reach her lips. With the height advantage Naomi pulled Emily's shirt above her head and tossed it behind her, Emily's hands still gripping at Naomi's thighs pulled forward slightly bringing them closer together.<p>

She slid Naomi off of the draws and held her at her hips; Naomi was amazed how easily Emily held her there. Emily brought her slowly to the bed, Naomi slowly lay back looking up at Emily, Emily slowly brought herself over Naomi and planted a series of kissed down Naomi's neck, across her collarbone and back up to her lips.  
>Naomi sat up of the bed stopping Emily's kisses. Emily immediately thought she had gone too far, she had pushed her too much.<p>

"The zip's in the back" Naomi said with a cheeky smile. Emily smiled back and brought her hands across Naomi's back following the zip line up to the top, she grabbed it and gently pulled it down to the small of Naomi's back.

Naomi lay back on the bed again and with one swift pull from Emily's she was left in her underwear.

Emily took her time inspecting Naomi's newly revealed body, she was wearing matching pink underwear, _matching, she knew I would be undressing her tonight._

Naomi confidently brought her hand to Emily's neck and pulled her closer into her. With Naomi in her underwear and Emily still wearing pants, Naomi set her fingers to work on the button of Emily's jeans once undone it took the pair of them to pull them off. The skin tight jeans eventually left Emily's legs causing Naomi to fall back on the bed with a hard thud holding the jeans in her hand. The pair erupted in a fit of giggles only stopped by Emily's mouth finding Naomi's. 

Emily pulled Naomi closer to her so she was sitting in her lap, Naomi's legs wrapped around the back of Emily's waist. Emily brought her hands slowly up Naomi's back finding Naomi's Bra. She ran her two thumbs beneath it and pulled on it slightly. Naomi smiled into Emily's mouth.  
>In a split second Emily had it undone and the bra sprung loose from Naomi. Naomi pulled back in surprise; she raised her eyebrow at Emily in a smirk. The straps fell loosely down Naomi's slender arms; Emily followed them with the trace of her fingertips. It eventually fell to the bed revealing Naomi's breasts. Emily smiled and made it known as she looked at Naomi's form; Naomi blushed and returned her lips to Emily's.<p>

Emily pushed Naomi's back against the bed and hovered over her, Emily undid the clasp of her own bra and tossed it aside with the various other clothing scattered across the floor. Their bare bodies pressed against each other but Emily ached for more. Her palm rested on Naomi's stomach as it rise and fell in pattern to her heavy breathing. Her finger tips just touching the fabric of her underwear. Emily plunged her daring hands under the material casing Naomi to gasp suddenly into Emily's mouth. Her fingers welcomed themselves to Naomi and entered her with enjoyment. Naomi dragged her nails across Emily's back, Emily welcoming the burning sensation it caused. She brought her spare hand up to Naomi's thigh and raised it slightly groping the flesh keeping her rhythm.

Naomi expressed her gratification with cries of pleasure, she breathed Emily's name touched every part of her she could. Emily smiled at her ability to make Naomi helplessly cry her name. She was happy, happier than she could remember being in a long time. She had the girl of her dreams, naked on her bed, screaming her name.


	13. Paradise

_**Short filler, I'm going to make a start on the next chapter now so you don't have to wait much longer, hopefully. Keep reading, keep reviewing. **_

Heat. Heat that radiated from one body to another, body's pressed up against each other. Bodies that wrapped and tangled around each other. Sweat glistening across the bare skin of a stomach or back, highlighted by the rising sun streaming through the window, casting shadows on the walls.

Pink. Pink underwear. Pink skin. Pink lips. Pink.

Pink is how she remembered the night, the night of paradise. And now that little piece of heaven, the girl who was responsible for the whole night was laying just a mere finger length away.

Her blonde locks falling over the pillow, the pillow indented from her heavy head sleeping. The duvet lightly draped over her bare body, missing one shoulder, leaving it exposed. It caused a silhouette outlining her body. Where the fabric fell and where each crease laid, Emily's eyes danced over them, studying the shape and figure of the sleeping girl.

She eased her head closer to the sleeping beauty and planted a gentle kiss on her warm cheek. A slight murmur escaped from the swollen parted lips, before forming into a smile. She turned and faced Emily and let out a hoarse "hi." Emily smiled at the freshly awoken Naomi and the two lay facing each other not speaking a word.

"Emily" Naomi croaked after a while, Emily mumbled in response, "can we like, not um, can we not tell anyone about this" the words came out fast and fumbled.

The words caught Emily off guard and cut her with the fast urgency of a razor blade. "Sure" Emily said in a small voice that sounded more unsure than she had hoped, Naomi smiled lightly and the two left the warm bed and searched for their discarded clothes.

Naomi sneaked out of the apartment not wanting Cook to see her leaving Emily's bedroom so early in the morning, wearing last night's clothes. Emily sat in the kitchen nursing a steaming hot cup of coffee, replaying Naomi's request over and over again in her head. She felt a flood of insecurity and rejection, however she understood why Naomi said it, and it was frankly none of her business whether Naomi did or did not want to tell people.

Cook walked out of his bedroom rubbing his eyes and joined Emily in the kitchen letting out a loud yawn which was more like a shout.

"Morning" he said pouring himself a cup of coffee and placing bread in the toaster.

"Morning" Emily replied half heartedly.

"Who shit in your cocoa pops?" Cook smirked sitting down next to her.

"What?"

"From the noises I heard coming from your room last night you should be in a much better mood this fine morning" Emily shook her head at him, "Where is she anyway?"

"Who?"

"The moaning, screaming, oh so thankful girl that you entertained last night" Cook joked pumping his hips and crying out in fake pleasure.

Emily laughed at Cooks demonstration, "She left, early"

"Suppose that's the way you like it eh?" he said slapping Emily's shoulder with his large palm on the way to collect his freshly made toast.

"Yeah" Emily lied.


End file.
